we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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