So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
