my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
