So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just pynch a tree in the face
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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