If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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