I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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