I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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