my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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