I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
