Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
