i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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