tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Bring me that man meat
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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