Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
