giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
