PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize