Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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