Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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