he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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