I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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