is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
