Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
