i just had sex bonerless
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
