It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
