This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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