Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I have post one night stand depression
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
