No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
