What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
