Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
