oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
