I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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