this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You have to summon your inner elephant
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
