I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize