dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize