I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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