I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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