my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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