I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
