also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Randomize
