I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
