So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
