She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
