okay pat passed out under dana's car
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
