Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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