I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
