We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
