So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it's like iHOP with fire
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
