I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
