cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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