I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i've created a new STD.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
