i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize