her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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