i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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