we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
