does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
