i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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