So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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