I CAN MOONWALK!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize