oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
either way he was missing a nipple.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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