He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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