You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
