WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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