went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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