If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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