69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
