The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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