Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize