he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
