he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
