in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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