We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
