I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
