remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
